


From 0 to Hate in 60 Seconds

by Liritar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 21:06:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10839453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liritar/pseuds/Liritar
Summary: Dave pulls a prank on Karkat. Things get... out of hand.





	From 0 to Hate in 60 Seconds

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Xi-qi-Hua (NSEW)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NSEW/gifts).



> So, I was doing a word sprint challenge with a friend, and somehow I came up with this. Written in a bit under an hour, not edited much, but here you go.

The human leaned back against the couch, smirking up at the troll who stood, glowering down at him. "What? I didn't do it, dude."

Karkat snarled, wiping the sticky goop out of his eyes. "What the fuck even is this shit, Strider? What did you fucking DO?"

"I told you, it wasn't me." Dave couldn't help laughing, though. It was fucking priceless. He couldn't wait to tell Egbert how well he'd pranked Karkat.

"Grrrrrr!" Karkat leapt at him, wiping the syrup on his shirt. "I fucking hate you, you piece of shit. How do you even fucking manage to survive for more than five minutes?"

"Dude, you're ruining my clothes." He grabbed Karkat's wrist and tried to tug his hand away, but the troll was a lot stronger than he looked.

"Bullshit. Those magic godtier pajamas don't get dirty. So you get to look like a tool for all eternity." Karkat made a face at him and put his hand on his face, rubbing the sticky syrup on his cheek.

"Oh, fuck you." Dave pushed him off the couch, laughing as he hit the floor with a loud thump.

"Oh, you insufferable nooksniffer." Karkat was on his feet again in an instant, pouncing on him, wrestling him down onto the couch.

Dave tried to fight him off, but he was well and truly pinned. Karkat weighed more than Dave really could have guessed. "Get the fuck off of me."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" the troll growled, staring down at him, his eyes gleaming with something Dave couldn't quite read. Suddenly lips collided roughly with his own, hard and rough and oh fuck it was wonderful. He shouldn't like it that much. But the part of his mind that was screaming was quickly drowned out by the part that was enjoying it more than anything he ever had. Clawed hands wrapped around his arms, holding tightly, threatening to rip the fabric of his shirt. Teeth nipped at his lips, drawing blood. Karkat groaned above him, pulling back to lick at the blood on his lips.

"What the fuck?" Dave gasped, staring up at him.

"Shut up," Karkat snarled, moving to kiss him again.

You know what, whatever. Talking was overrated. Knowing what was going on was ALSO overrated. What WASN'T overrated was the feeling of Karkat against him, so angry and desperate and perfect.

The troll pushed his shirt up, claws scraping along his pale skin. Oh, fuck. What the fuck. Oh, he shouldn't want this. It was weird, and gay, and... fuck. The look in Karkat's eyes set him on fire. He moaned, reaching up to worm his fingers into the mess of the troll's hair, yanking him down into another demanding kiss. This time HE bit Karkat's lip, as hard as he could. His dull teeth couldn't break the tough troll skin, but Karkat still let out a groan that made him melt inside. Hell yes. He'd made him make that sound.

Karkat was obviously getting impatient. He grabbed Dave's pants and yanked them down, snarling. Oh, fuck. That had to be one of the hottest things he'd ever seen.

"Huh."

He looked up. Karkat was looking down at his... crotch. Yeah. "What?"

"That looks nothing like your drawings, you fucking retarded nookwhiffer." Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Shut up." He grabbed Karkat and used the moment of surprise to flip him on his back beneath him on the couch. Nibbling at the troll's neck, his hands went to work on his pants, tugging them down quickly. Right, he was going to stop thinking about what he was doing, because... damn. This was so fucked up. But he wanted it so damn much.

"You really think I'm going to let you win this?" Karkat laughed, rolling them again, Dave landing on his back on the floor, letting out an 'Oof' of air. "Oh, yeah, that's better," the troll continued, smirking. He lowered his head, putting his lips to Dave's ear. "You're mine, Strider," he growled, sending sparks down Dave's spine. Oh, holy fuck. That was incredible. The boy groaned deeply, eyelids fluttering behind his sunglasses.

Karkat seemed to notice the shades at just that moment. He reached out and snatched them, tossing them onto the couch. "Now you don't look like a fucking tool. Well, like less of one. You're still Strider," he added with a smirk.

"Fuck you," Dave gasped, clawing at his face. He wanted to scratch that look off of him. Make him respect him.

"That's the plan," Karkat growled, biting his lip again. Oh FUCK. Dave's eyes slid shut as Karkat moved between his legs, that weird-ass wiggly thing writhing against him before pushing into his ass.

Oh, holy fuck. Like, the most sacrosanct of fucks ever was happening right here, right now. Dave was reduced to a molten pile of bliss and cursing. Though some of the cursing might have been Karkat. It was hard to tell where one of them ended and the other began, body OR voice. Claws dug ruthlessly into his hip, holding him in place as Karkat's bulge ravished his poor asshole. Or blessed asshole. Yeah. That was the one. Fuck, it was so good. How was anything allowed to be this good? Maybe it had bribed the goodness inspectors, so that it had a bit extra to give?

Okay, he was getting dumb as fuck. Oh, he could never let Karkat know how much this affected him. The bastard was smug enough as it was.

"Fuck, Strider, you really do know how to take a bulge. Have you practiced, or are you just good at slutting it up?"

"Unf. Fuck you." Not the best comeback, but it was hard to think with Karkat writhing inside him.

"No, I'm definitely fucking you," Karkat purred, bulge suddenly twisting inside him.

Dave shrieked, coming unexpectedly quickly. He'd have been embarrassed if he wasn't so blissed out.

The troll's claws dug into his flesh, drawing blood, as he gasped and quivered, letting out a flood of hot red fluid.

The two lay there for a moment, panting, then Karkat pulled away. He rubbed a bit of blood off his lips, blushing slightly. "Oh. Wow."

Dave sat slowly, pulling his legs out from under the troll. His limbs were smeared with troll spunk. Gross. "Dude. I had no idea a simple prank would put you into full out kissymissy mode."

"Yeah, right." Karkat glared at him. "This is NOT my fault, you fuckass. You being a smug tool is what caused this."

"So, uh..." Dave ran a hand through his hair. "Was this... all? I mean..." he hesitated, then forced out what he was trying to say. "I wouldn't mind doing this again. I guess."

Karkat turned bright red. "What? You... you want to be my kismesis?"

Dave shrugged. "Why not? You're a bitch, and this was... good." He blushed despite himself.

"Yeah. Yeah, it was." Karkat flashed him a shy grin. "So, uh, hatedate tomorrow? I can find a really annoying movie."

"Ugh. Yeah, sure."


End file.
